Day +3603: I feel it all around…

”I feel it in my bones…
My life is on the line
When I’m away from home
When I step out the door
The jungle is alive
I do not trust my ears
I don’t believe my eyes
I will not fall in love—I cannot risk the bet
‘Cause hearts are fragile toys—so easy to forget

It’s just another day
There’s murder in the air
It drags me when I walk
I smell it everywhere
It’s just another day
Where people cling to light
To drive away the fear
That comes with every night

It’s just another day…. It’s just another day
It’s just another day…. It’s just another day….
It’s just another day when people wake from dreams
The voices in their ears that will not go away

I had a dream last night:
The world was set on fire
And everywhere I ran
There wasn’t any water
The temperature increased
The sky was crimson red
The clouds turned into smoke
And everyone was dead

(But)
There’s a smile on my face…for everyone
There’s a golden coin…that reflects the sun
There’s a lonely place…that’s always cold
There’s a place in the stars…for when you get old

There’s razors in my bed
That come out late at night
They always disappear
Before the morning light
I’m dreaming again
Of life underground
It doesn’t ever move
It doesn’t make a sound
And just when I think—that things are in their place
The heavens are secure—the whole thing explodes in my face.

It’s just another day…. It’s just another day
It’s just another day…. It’s just another day….”

10/12/2020: Awakened by the phone this morning, results are in from my bone marrow biopsy. It appears my MDS has relapsed with the same complex cytogenetic abnormalities as before. I don’t have much additional information yet. My transplant team feels that they’ve caught it early and that the best course forward for now is Vidaza (azacitidine), the cytotoxic chemotherapy drug that put me into remission first time around. They don’t recommend a donor lymphocyte infusion (DLI) at this time due to my ongoing cGvHD (chronic Graft vs. Host Disease). Michael and I are still processing everything mentally. I scheduled an appointment with my hematologist for October 21, and we will keep you posted as we know more. Until then, daily ice cream!

Love to all, Karen

p.s. A single tag line song with full lyrics. Who can identify?
p.p.s. Just got a call from hematologist – Vidaza treatments start next Monday.

7 Comments so far

  1. I love you!!!!

  2. Laura on October 12th, 2020 at 3:44 pm
  3. Just Another Day by Oingo Boingo

  4. Dave on October 12th, 2020 at 6:00 pm
  5. Crap. Eat more ice cream and enjoy Halloween and birthday month. We love you.

  6. Dave on October 12th, 2020 at 6:02 pm
  7. That isn’t a good birthday present! Glad they are on top of it as quickly as they did. Hope the rest of the month brings good tidings. Love you bunches. And for my “Give me an F….” I am going with Faith. sending love and prayers. And keep the ice cream coming!!! 🙂 <3

  8. Cathy S Johnson on October 12th, 2020 at 6:54 pm
  9. Not what either of you wanted to hear this morning, but glad they feel as if they caught it early. Another step forward, we’re all thinking of you 🙂

    Hugs and love to you both,
    Debbie

  10. Debbie on October 12th, 2020 at 9:46 pm
  11. I’ve sent 4 emails just now. I’m adding this to see if I can start getting the blog from you again.

  12. Dana Hinchliff on October 12th, 2020 at 10:17 pm
  13. Karen, I thought I commented earlier but I don’t see it. I’m saddened to hear your results. You have been through so much already. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us updated. Hang in there. ❤️

  14. LoriPatrick on October 13th, 2020 at 8:29 pm

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